My Life, my dreams, my musings……..

September 7, 2008

Time. Change. Times Change…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Shyamala N. @ 12:03 am

Time. Change. These two words have been in my thoughts for quite some time now. It’s like, every thing that I think about these days, are somehow related to these two words. You  see, this period is in a way golden. For once, it has given me ample opportunity to spend time with myself. “Main aur meri tanhayi…” kinds. No romantic intonations here. I am, and my thoughts are. There are times when sooo.. many thoughts flood my mind. And I keep playing them, rewinding, fast forwarding, doing all kinds of engineering with them.  How I wish I could just freeze them, put them in suspended mode, and analyse each one of them properly. But alas!! They are volatile, sublime…. Well…..coming back to change, time. I’ll thread them together, because that’s how they are supposed to be. Yeah. Time brings Change. Change takes Time. Whatever.

This time I visited Korba, my friend, who is seeing me after 6 long years was Shocked at how much I’d changed. Physically, yes….mentally, all the more. And that’s what surprised her all the more. I had only one thing to say to her…People do change over time. If there is no change, there is stagnation. And where there is stagnation, there is no growth. And no growth is as good as death. My friend didn’t seem very comfortable on seeing some of my changes. But hey….I am my truth. The ultimate truth for me is I. Confusing, eh? Forget it then..

I was wondering about what all about me has changed over a period of 6 years.  The first thing that strikes me is I have started loving myself a lot. There used to be a period when I was ashamed of myself! Can you believe that???? I hated looking at what the mirror showed. I was living in a shadow of so many people back then. I had no persona of myself. I reflected the ideas, thoughts of my peers. I never lived MY life earlier. Then came the biggest event in my life-my departure from Korba. The departure gave way to some fresh arrivals in my life. Self acceptance, individuality, confidence, what not! And life Changed me, rather, I Changed my life. Self acceptance slowly gave way to love for myself. I am so much at ease with myself, and the mirror has become my friend. And I strongly believe that, when you are aware of your own self, your own needs, you are much more open to things around you. Sensitivity to your surroundings creeps in automatically.  

And yes, another big change in my life has been acceptance of people, things as they are. For this, the first thing that we have to overcome is, Expectations. The word encompasses in itself, some of the mysteries of broken hearts and relationships. “I am upset, because my friend did not call me up, as I expected her to.” “My mother is upset, because I did not perform as well as she expected.” “This student did not stand upto the expectations of the teachers.” See? Everytime we Expect something, we tend to get upset more often than not. Our expectations always are marked by our own parameters. We put into brackets, the people and things, and when things don’t fall in these brackets, we sulk. One should not forget that putting into brackets is nothing but limiting things. The universe is unlimited, seamless, endless. Then how we, the beings of the universe, who carry the qualities of the Supreme beings, can be limited? We are subject to growth every moment, every second. We are designed to change constantly.

Acceptance is a virtue, which is very, very important. It is one of the simple keys to a comfortable life.  The basic form of that is self acceptance. Then comes the acceptance towards the fellow human beings. And finally comes the acceptance of the circumstances. Remember, acceptance doesn’t in any way make us cowardly. On the other hand, it is a feat difficult to achieve by all. The easiest way to conquer the storm is to follow its course. Great epics like Ramayana speak of acceptance as virtue of God. Did Rama not accept Kaikeyi, even though she meted out a very cruel judgement on Him? And yes, acceptance not only glorifies a person, it also simplifies the otherwise complex situations. I attribute this change in me wholly to my stay in the hostel. It has definitely changed my perspective towards life.

I have also learnt to harness the strength of forgiveness. People are never inherently bad or sadistic. We were all conceived in a moment of passion. So anything created in passion cannot be bad at all. Circumstances make us what we are. The moment we start looking at things this way, we would find that we can easily forgive anybody and everybody, however heinous the crime committed by the other person. Forgiveness is not the shield of cowards, it is the weapon of the most mighty human forms. As it is, Life does not give us a second chance. Then why should we be cruel and do the same?

These changes are some of the major events in my life. I am happy that I changed. Now, looking at the world with rainbow shades is not an unimaginable thing for me.  This is a line from one of the most famous MJ numbers,” If you wanna change the world, start with the Man in the Mirror!” God bless…





  1. Some how..I liked this article very very much..Thanks 4 pennin it down…

    Comment by sudha — July 20, 2009 @ 8:29 pm

    • hey, thanks sudha!! it was an impulsive blog, this one. not much of thought went into this. thanks for appreciations!

      Comment by Shyamala N. — July 21, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

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